Price Upon Request #4
Oysters and War
There are many things the French do better than us, so it should be no surprise that when it comes to holiday traditions and delicacies, I defer to them. Yes, today I’m talking about oysters.
There is something counter-intuitive about the holidays being peak season for oyster consumption— you wouldn’t expect something so thalassic to be best enjoyed in a cable knit sweater. However, according to my research, about half of France’s annual oyster consumption occurs between Christmas and New Years. Chic.
My adoration for oysters makes sense on many levels, I realized. I love a food with rules and tools, and this briny bivalve has plenty. They’re an extremely fussy little food, for which everything matters— temperature, timing, garnishes, not to mention the process of shucking them. (It’s surprisingly hard?) I appreciate the specificity of their demands and precarity of their consumption. I mean, you are eating a live animal at the end of the day. Kind of crazy. Kind of disgusting? I love it.
I also think about this Roe Ethridge photo of them, surprisingly often.
If you’re like me, and not into the holidays, but want to do something to make it feel special, I highly recommend finding a good fish monger, asking them everything about the oysters they have, and getting a gorgeous plate to enjoy them on. (Learning about oysters is kind of like learning about wine. There’s a lot of terroir involved, or whatever the aquatic version of that is. MERoir?)
Napoleon, legend has it, ate a dozen oysters before going into every battle. Was this in the movie? I didn’t see it, but I wish I had known about this before going into 2025, which felt like a battle on every front. This year I’m shucking early.
Here are six oyster plates, and merry Christmas to all.
I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t all about the box, but it is kind of all about the box. Could also make for a nice gift, and it basically comes wrapped!
This will pair great with a screening of The Birdcage— which also sounds like a great Christmas?
I get it if you’re not into the whole Majolica thing. So here is an alternative, and you can really never go wrong with silver. There are also many other silver oyster plates from defunct hotels you can purchase. The wells in this one have a particularly nice shape though.
Maybe you hate oysters (and don’t feel seen by this post), but do, in fact, love scallops. Good news! This plate can do both! I also think the basket weave is a nice touch.
Deep ocean, indeed. A very good blue.
Now imagine a school of 7 flounder carrying 42 oysters swimming across your table…
If you really want to see this vision through, and do it right, you’ll need a few more tools. Luckily Sabre, one of my favorite cutlery brands, has about 57 options for oyster forks. Some even come in 17 different colors. So if you can’t find one you like, that’s on you. Maison Empereur, the beloved homeware shop in Marseille has some good options for shucking knives. I like this one. It comes with a leather protector for your hand, but I really prefer this glove for full effect, and maximum coverage.
Happy shucking.
“I love a food with rules and tools, and this briny bivalve has plenty” goes crazy.
genial ! incroyable !